Christian Relationships, Families and Gender Roles

Relationships as care and commitment

Christian attitudes towards relationships connect beliefs about God with everyday responsibilities towards other people. Christians believe that women and men are made in the image of God. This gives both equal worth, although Christians disagree about whether equal worth should mean identical roles.

Relationships involve more than being together: they bring responsibilities. Within a family, these include caring for children, supporting elderly relatives, earning an income and maintaining a home. Christian disagreements often concern how these duties should be shared and whether marriage is necessary for a couple’s relationship.

Why family life matters

Families provide love, protection, comfort and practical support. Adults have a particular responsibility to bring up children, acting as educators and role models so that children learn how to treat others and become responsible adults. Care also extends beyond children: an elderly relative may need help with meals, company or daily tasks.

For Christians, family life can also nurture religious belief. Parents may teach children Christian values, encourage religious practice and explain beliefs about God, death and the afterlife. This helps explain why some Christians prefer a partner who shares their faith: they hope to approach these responsibilities together.

A role is a position, such as parent; a responsibility is a duty that follows from it, such as protecting a child. The purpose of a family is therefore not simply to assign positions, but to ensure that its members receive care and support.

Different interpretations of women’s and men’s roles

Traditionally, the father was often expected to earn money and lead the household, while the mother cared for children and managed the home. Some Christians continue to support different responsibilities for women and men, drawing on biblical teachings.

In Genesis 2:18, God says, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.’ Some traditional Christians interpret this as giving women a supporting role. Paul’s statement that ‘the head of the woman is man’ in 1 Corinthians 11:3 can also be understood as supporting male leadership in the family. Christians taking this approach may argue that women and men have equal value but different roles.

Other Christians understand marriage and family life as an equal partnership in which responsibilities should be shared according to people’s abilities and circumstances, rather than their sex. They may regard Paul’s teaching about male leadership as reflecting the society in which he wrote, rather than a permanent rule for every household.

They also draw on Galatians 3:28: ‘nor is there male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus’. They interpret this spiritual equality as a reason to support equality in everyday life. For example, either parent might earn the main income, while both share childcare and housework.

The disagreement is therefore partly about interpreting authority: should a biblical description of different roles remain binding, or should Christian equality guide changing family arrangements? Both approaches can emphasise the duty to care for the family, while reaching different conclusions about who should do what.

Marriage outside a religious tradition

Marriage outside a person’s religious tradition includes several different situations: a Catholic marrying another kind of Christian, a Christian marrying someone of another religion, or a Christian marrying a person with no religious faith. Only the second is necessarily an interfaith marriage.

Some Christians welcome such relationships, believing that differences of belief need not prevent a loving and committed family life. In 1 Corinthians 7:13, Paul teaches that a Christian woman whose unbelieving husband is willing to live with her should not divorce him. In 1 Corinthians 7:14, he describes the unbelieving spouse as made holy through the believing partner. These passages address existing marriages between believers and unbelievers and support maintaining them; they are not simply instructions about whom to marry.

Other Christians urge caution. Catholic and evangelical Christians may be concerned that different beliefs could put pressure on the relationship or make passing on the Christian faith harder. Orthodox church marriage normally requires the partner of an Orthodox Christian to be a baptised Christian.

Practical questions help explain these concerns. Which religious upbringing will children receive? Which festivals will the family celebrate? What will children be taught about death and the afterlife? Partners may also disagree about dietary practices, contraception or family roles. Relatives may oppose the marriage, and choosing a wedding venue can be difficult.

These are possible challenges, not proof that such a marriage must fail. A supportive view emphasises respect and agreement between partners; a cautious view emphasises shared faith and continuity of religious upbringing.

Cohabitation: must commitment involve marriage?

Cohabitation means living together as a couple in a sexual relationship without marriage or a civil partnership. Some couples cohabit before marrying; others do not intend to marry. A cohabiting couple may also raise children together.

Catholic and Orthodox teaching opposes cohabitation because sexual relationships are understood to belong within marriage. The Catholic Catechism states: ‘The sexual act must take place exclusively within marriage. Outside of marriage, it always constitutes a grave sin.’ From this perspective, loving intentions do not remove the requirement to marry before beginning a sexual relationship.

Other Christians take a more accepting approach. Some Anglicans acknowledge that cohabiting relationships can involve love, faithfulness and lasting commitment, while still regarding marriage as the ideal. Their reasoning focuses on the quality of the relationship rather than treating the absence of a wedding as its only important feature.

When judging these contrasting views, the central question is whether marriage is essential to a morally acceptable sexual relationship, or whether commitment and faithful care can also exist outside it. A justified conclusion should explain why one consideration carries greater weight, while recognising the strongest reason for the alternative view.

Family purposes

• Love, protection and practical support for children and other relatives.
• Parents act as educators and role models.
• Christian families can pass on faith, religious practices and moral values.

Gender roles

• Traditional: equal worth but different roles; male leadership and female caregiving. Genesis 2:18 (‘helper’) and 1 Corinthians 11:3 (‘head of the woman is man’).
• Egalitarian: shared responsibilities according to abilities and circumstances. Galatians 3:28: ‘you are all one in Christ Jesus’.
• Key distinction: equality of worth does not lead every Christian to the same view of roles.

Marriage outside the tradition

• Includes another denomination, another religion or a non-believer.
• Support: different beliefs need not prevent commitment; 1 Corinthians 7:13–14 supports maintaining an existing believer–unbeliever marriage.
• Caution: possible tensions over faith, children’s upbringing, festivals and moral decisions.
• Orthodox church marriage normally requires a baptised Christian partner.

Cohabitation

• Catholic and Orthodox: opposed; sex belongs within marriage. Catholic Catechism: sex outside marriage is a ‘grave sin’.
• More accepting Christians, including some Anglicans: recognise loving, faithful cohabitation while regarding marriage as ideal.
• Evaluation focus: is marriage essential, or can faithful commitment make cohabitation acceptable?