Brit Milah and Coming-of-Age Ceremonies

The practice comes from God’s covenant with Abraham. Genesis 17:10 states: ‘Every male among you shall be circumcised.’ The physical sign links the child with Abraham and generations of Jewish people who have observed this commandment. It expresses obedience to God and continuity of Jewish identity. Circumcision does not, by itself, make someone Jewish.

The baby cannot yet understand or choose these responsibilities. His family therefore welcomes him into a relationship which they will help him understand through Jewish upbringing and education.

What happens at Brit Milah?

Family and community gather to welcome the child. Customs vary, but several traditional features make the ceremony’s meaning visible:

• Bringing in the baby: relatives or friends acting as kvatter carry or pass the baby into the ceremony. In a traditional arrangement, a woman passes him to a man wearing a tallit, a prayer shawl.
• Elijah’s chair: a special chair represents the belief that the prophet Elijah is present at each circumcision. The baby may be placed briefly on a cushion on this chair.
• The sandek: an honoured person chosen by the parents, often a grandfather, holds the baby during the circumcision.
• Blessings: the mohel blesses God for the commandment of circumcision. The father, or in some communities both parents, blesses God for commanding that sons enter Abraham’s covenant.
• Naming and wine: a blessing is said over wine, the child’s Hebrew name is announced and a drop of wine may be placed on his tongue.

Those present express the hope that, just as the child has entered the covenant, he will enter Torah study, marriage and good deeds. This connects the ceremony to the whole of his future Jewish life: belonging should lead to learning, family life and moral action, not remain only a physical sign.

Bar Mitzvah: becoming responsible for Jewish law

A Jewish boy becomes Bar Mitzvah at 13. The expression means ‘son of the commandment’. He is now personally accountable for observing the mitzvot, the commandments of Jewish law, rather than his parents carrying responsibility for his religious upbringing alone.

The change happens at the appropriate age whether or not there is a synagogue ceremony or party. The ceremony publicly recognises this new status; it does not create it. Preparation through studying Hebrew, prayers and Torah helps the boy understand what his responsibilities involve.

In Orthodox Judaism, he can now count towards a minyan, the group of ten adult Jewish men needed for certain communal prayers. He also takes on adult religious obligations, including wearing tefillin during weekday morning prayer. Their Torah passages make the connection between God’s teaching and daily worship tangible.

What happens at a Bar Mitzvah ceremony?

The celebration usually takes place in a synagogue, often during a Shabbat service. The boy receives an aliyah: he is called up for the Torah reading and recites its blessings. He commonly reads or chants a prepared Torah passage in Hebrew and may also read the Haftarah, a passage from the biblical prophets.

Reading Torah demonstrates that he is beginning to participate as a responsible member of the worshipping community. He may give a short explanation of Jewish teaching, showing understanding as well as the ability to read. The rabbi may address him, his family and the congregation.

Traditionally, the father says a blessing thanking God for releasing him from responsibility for his son’s actions. Its significance is the son’s new personal accountability, not an end to parental care or guidance. Gifts and a celebratory meal or reception often follow, allowing family and community to share the occasion.

Orthodox girls: Bat Mitzvah and Bat Chayil

In Orthodox Judaism, a girl becomes Bat Mitzvah, ‘daughter of the commandment’, at 12. She becomes responsible for the commandments that apply to her, whether or not she has a celebration.

Traditional Orthodox teaching distinguishes men’s and women’s religious roles. Women’s religious responsibility is recognised, but they are not counted in the traditional male minyan and do not normally lead the mixed congregation or read Torah publicly in its main service. Orthodox celebrations therefore need not follow the same pattern as a boy’s Bar Mitzvah.

Some Orthodox communities use a Bat Chayil, meaning ‘daughter of worth’, celebration. This is often held at home, in a school hall or in a community venue. The girl may give a talk about Jewish teaching or a woman from Jewish history, recite a prayer, or take part in songs and presentations. A meal with family and friends may follow.

These features recognise learning, spiritual maturity and responsibilities in Jewish family and community life. Examples include charity, modest behaviour and participation in practices such as lighting Shabbat candles. There is normally no public Torah reading by the girl in the main synagogue service.

Orthodox practice is diverse: some communities celebrate the occasion as a Bat Mitzvah, and some modern Orthodox settings offer girls additional opportunities to read Torah in women’s gatherings. It is therefore inaccurate to say that Orthodox girls never have Bat Mitzvah celebrations.

Reform girls: equal participation in worship

Reform Judaism gives girls and boys equal religious rights and responsibilities. British Reform communities generally mark both Bar and Bat Mitzvah at 13. This differs from the traditional Orthodox ages of 13 for boys and 12 for girls.

A Reform Bat Mitzvah can follow the same pattern as a Bar Mitzvah. During a synagogue service, often on Shabbat, the girl may receive an aliyah, read Torah, lead prayers and give a d’var Torah, a short explanation of a Torah passage. The rabbi and congregation may bless her, followed by a family and community celebration. Women can also count towards a Reform minyan.

Reform Jews connect equal participation with the belief that both women and men are made in God’s image, expressed in Genesis 1:27. Bat Mitzvah therefore recognises both personal responsibility and equality within public worship. Reform communities generally use this equal ceremony rather than a separate Bat Chayil celebration.

Both Orthodox and Reform approaches recognise girls’ religious maturity. Their main difference concerns how that maturity is expressed: traditional Orthodox practice maintains distinct religious roles, while Reform practice supports equal participation in synagogue worship.

• Boy becomes religiously responsible at 13, whether or not a ceremony takes place.
• Usually a synagogue service: aliyah, Torah blessings and reading; possibly Haftarah and a talk.
• Father’s blessing recognises the son’s personal accountability; celebration often follows.
• In Orthodox practice: counts towards a minyan and assumes obligations such as weekday use of tefillin.

Girls’ coming of age

Orthodox: traditionally 12. Distinct religious roles; girls do not normally lead the mixed congregation or read Torah in its main service. Some communities hold Bat Chayil, with a Jewish-themed talk, prayers or presentations and a family celebration. Other Orthodox Bat Mitzvah practices also exist.

British Reform: generally 13, like boys. Bat Mitzvah has equal status: girls may read Torah, lead prayers, give a d’var Torah and count towards a minyan. Generally no separate Bat Chayil. Equal participation is connected with Genesis 1:27, humanity made in God’s image.

Shared purpose: recognising religious maturity, responsibility and membership of the Jewish community.