Purpose and Importance of Family

Why family life matters in Judaism

For many Jews, the family is both a place of love and a setting in which religious responsibilities are fulfilled. It provides care for its members and connects one generation with the next. Three central purposes are procreation, security and the education of children. These purposes overlap: having children brings responsibilities to protect them, teach them and help them grow.

Jewish family life is shaped by respect, loving-kindness and shalom bayit, meaning peace within the home. This is more than simply avoiding arguments. It involves building relationships in which people feel valued and secure.

Procreation and children as a blessing

Procreation means having children. Traditional Jewish teaching connects it with God's command to be fruitful and multiply. Having a family can therefore be understood as obedience to God, as well as a source of personal happiness. Raising children within Judaism also helps preserve Jewish beliefs and traditions for future generations.

Psalm 127:3 describes children as a gift:

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”

A heritage is something received and valued. This teaching presents children as a blessing from God, giving parents a reason to cherish them and take their care seriously.

Verses 4–5 compare children born in one's youth to arrows in a warrior's hands, and describe the person with a full quiver as blessed. A quiver holds arrows. The imagery suggests strength and support: the passage ends with family members not being put to shame when confronting opponents in court. It therefore connects children not only with the continuation of a family but also with its security.

The passage praises children; it does not mean that a family without children has no value. Mutual care and support are also important purposes of family relationships.

Security means practical and emotional care

Family security includes meeting practical needs, such as food, shelter and care during illness. It also includes emotional security: knowing that someone will listen, offer reassurance and remain dependable during difficulties.

Responsibility can work in both directions. Parents care for children, while younger generations should honour and respect older relatives. The commandment to “Honour your father and your mother” supports this responsibility. In an extended family, grandparents and other relatives may help care for children, while younger relatives may support older family members.

The strength pictured in Psalm 127 can therefore be connected with a wider idea: family members need not face difficulties alone. However, a particular family structure does not automatically create security. Respectful behaviour and reliable care are needed to make it work.

Educating children and passing on Judaism

Jewish parents have a responsibility to teach children their faith. Deuteronomy 6:6–7 tells them to keep God's commandments in their hearts and “Impress them on your children”. Education is therefore a religious duty, not only preparation for school or employment.

The home gives children concrete experiences of Jewish life. For example, sharing Shabbat celebrations can teach them about rest, worship and family togetherness. Observing kashrut, the Jewish dietary laws, shows how religious commitments shape everyday choices. Parents also teach beliefs, prayers and moral responsibilities through explanation and their own behaviour.

These experiences connect education with continuity. A child who understands the meaning of family practices is better equipped to carry Jewish traditions into adulthood. Orthodox, Reform and Liberal Jews may differ in how they observe particular practices, but passing on Jewish identity remains important to many across these traditions.

Different family types in contemporary society

Jewish responses often distinguish between an ideal family structure and the need to care for families as they actually exist.

Nuclear families consist of two parents and their children. Traditional Jewish teaching favours a married mother and father because marriage between a man and a woman, procreation and raising children in the faith are closely connected. This structure can provide shared responsibility, but its value also depends on how family members treat one another.

Single-parent families have one parent bringing up children. They can arise through bereavement, separation or other circumstances. Although traditional Jews may prefer a two-parent family, many Jews recognise that a single parent can provide a loving home and teach Judaism. Reform and Liberal Jews are generally more accepting of divorce than Orthodox Jews, but it is inaccurate to assume that Orthodox Judaism rejects all single-parent families. The children's care and dignity remain important.

Same-sex parents are two parents of the same sex raising children. Many Reform and Liberal Jews accept these families, emphasising loving commitment and the ability to provide security and Jewish education. Orthodox Judaism generally maintains that marriage should be between a man and a woman and therefore does not approve of same-sex partnerships. This disagreement concerns the parents' relationship; it should not be confused with a claim that their children have no need for care or respect.

Extended families include relatives such as grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. They can strengthen family security by sharing care and practical help. Older relatives may also pass on religious knowledge and family traditions. Honour and respect between generations make these relationships important across Jewish traditions.

Blended families, or stepfamilies, bring together children from previous relationships. Jewish law permits remarriage after a valid divorce, subject to some restrictions, so blended families can be acceptable to many Jews. Although divorce may be regarded as a last resort, a new family can still offer care, stability and religious education.

Non-religious views: shared purposes, different foundations

An atheist does not believe in God or gods. This does not, by itself, determine their preferred family structure. An atheist may value procreation, security and education without seeing them as duties commanded by God.

Humanists base moral decisions on reason and human wellbeing rather than divine authority. Many therefore judge family life by the quality of its relationships: whether people provide love, safety, loyalty and care. Having children can be valuable, but it need not be treated as a religious obligation.

Humanist parents may emphasise empathy, critical thinking and children's freedom to reach their own conclusions. For example, some encourage children to learn about religions while making clear that belief is a personal choice. This differs from a Jewish commitment to passing on the faith, although both approaches can involve moral education, discussion and parental example.

Non-religious people also disagree among themselves. Some Humanists value marriage because a public commitment can help provide stability and mutual support. Others argue that unmarried partners can fulfil these purposes equally well. Neither atheism nor Humanism requires indifference to family responsibility.

Evaluating what makes a family important

A traditional Jewish argument is that the married mother-and-father family brings together obedience to God, procreation and the transmission of Judaism. Its strength is that it gives family life a clear religious purpose and makes responsibilities to future generations central.

A contrasting argument, held by many Reform or Liberal Jews and many Humanists, is that care matters more than structure alone. Single-parent, same-sex-parent and blended families can provide security and education. A nuclear family that lacks loving care does not fulfil these purposes simply because it has two parents.

A justified conclusion should explain which criterion matters most. If obedience to traditional religious law is decisive, the traditional model will carry particular weight. If wellbeing and dependable care are decisive, several family structures can be valued. There is also substantial common ground: people who disagree about the ideal structure may still agree that families should protect their members and educate children responsibly.