Sex Before and Outside Marriage

Traditional Christian teaching treats sex as a gift from God which expresses a loving, lifelong union. Marriage provides the commitment within which this gift should be shared. Genesis 2:24 describes a man being united to his wife so that they become “one flesh”. Christians can interpret this as linking sexual intimacy with the unity of marriage.

The Catholic Church teaches that sex before marriage is wrong. The Church of England also teaches that sex should be reserved for marriage, although individual Anglicans hold different views. Following these teachings means remaining chaste before marriage: abstaining from sex rather than treating sexual intimacy as separate from lifelong commitment.

St Paul teaches that “the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:19). For Christians, this means the body has spiritual value and should be treated responsibly. It supports the view that people should not use either their own bodies or other people merely for temporary sexual pleasure.

Why Christians do not all agree

Christians may consider the Bible, Church teaching and their conscience when deciding how to act. They can differ over how these sources should apply to modern relationships.

Some more liberal Christians accept sex before marriage where a couple are loving, faithful and committed for life, particularly if they intend to marry. They place greater emphasis on the quality of the relationship than on whether a wedding has already taken place. This is not the same as supporting casual sex or promiscuity.

The disagreement is therefore not simply between people who value commitment and people who do not. Traditional Christians see marriage as the necessary setting for sexual commitment; some other Christians believe that genuine commitment can exist before marriage. Official Church teaching also does not necessarily describe the beliefs or behaviour of every Church member.

Christian objections to adultery

Christian teaching rejects adultery. The Ten Commandments state: “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). An affair breaks the marriage vows made before God and betrays a spouse’s trust. Lies and secrecy can damage the relationship, and the resulting conflict may threaten the stability of family life, including the lives of children.

Jesus also challenged the intentions behind sexual behaviour, teaching that looking at someone lustfully can amount to adultery in the heart (Matthew 5:27–28). This extends the concern beyond outward actions to desires that undermine faithfulness.

Christian opposition to adultery does not rule out forgiveness. In John 8:1–11, Jesus forgives a woman caught in adultery but tells her to leave her sinful behaviour behind. Forgiveness is therefore linked to change, rather than approval of the affair.

Islamic teachings on sexual relationships

Islam teaches that sex is a gift from God to be expressed within marriage between a husband and wife. Marriage provides a setting for sexual intimacy, mutual faithfulness and family life. Sex before marriage and adultery are both forbidden and understood as serious sins, described as zina, or unlawful sexual intercourse.

The Qur’an warns against even approaching adultery, describing it as an outrage and an evil path (Qur’an 17:32). This supports avoiding situations that could lead to unlawful sexual relationships, as well as avoiding the act itself.

Adultery also violates the trust and promises on which marriage rests. A married couple are expected to be faithful to one another rather than seek sexual fulfilment elsewhere. These teachings can influence Muslims’ decisions to wait until marriage and their expectations of loyalty within married life.

Contrasting views in contemporary Britain

Attitudes towards sex before marriage have become more accepting in Britain over recent decades. Religious beliefs remain influential, but people are also influenced by family, friends, cultural expectations and the media. There is no single view shared by everyone in British society.

Some non-religious people accept sex before marriage because they believe a couple can be committed without being married. They judge a relationship through consent, honesty, care and responsibility rather than marital status alone. Consent means freely agreeing to sexual activity while having the freedom and capacity to make that choice; pressure is not free agreement.

Other people, including some who are not religious, prefer to wait until marriage. Their concerns may include unintended pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections and emotional harm. These risks are not confined to unmarried relationships, but they can influence a person’s decision about when to have sex.

Many non-religious people also reject adultery because it breaks promises and can cause emotional distress. This shows how religious and non-religious people can reach a similar conclusion for different reasons: one may emphasise God’s commandments, while another emphasises trust and harm.

Law and morality are separate questions. The age of consent in England and Wales is 16, and adultery is not a criminal offence in the UK. Neither fact settles whether a particular relationship is morally right. Religious teachings and ethical arguments ask not only what is legally permitted, but what is loving, faithful and responsible.

• Traditional Christianity: sex belongs within lifelong marriage; Catholic and Church of England teaching support waiting.
• Some liberal Christians: sex before marriage can be acceptable within a loving, faithful, committed relationship.
• Islam: sex belongs within marriage; premarital sex is forbidden as zina.
• Non-religious perspectives: some see commitment and consent as more important than marriage; others prefer waiting because of pregnancy, STI or emotional risks.

Adultery: trust and promises

• Christianity: forbidden by Exodus 20:14; breaks vows made before God. Forgiveness does not mean approval.
• Islam: forbidden; Qur’an 17:32 warns against approaching adultery. Faithfulness protects marital trust.
• Non-religious objections: broken promises, betrayal and emotional harm to partners and families.

Teachings to connect to arguments

• Genesis 2:24 — “one flesh”: sexual unity and marriage.
• 1 Corinthians 6:19 — body as a temple: responsible treatment of the body.
• Exodus 20:14: prohibition of adultery.
• Qur’an 17:32: avoid adultery and paths towards it.

British context

Sex before marriage is more widely accepted than in the past, but views still differ. Legal permission does not establish moral acceptability.