Contrasting Beliefs on Sexual Relationships Before Marriage

Why marriage matters to this debate

Sexual relationships before marriage are sexual relationships between people who are not yet married to each other. The central disagreement is not simply whether sex is good or bad. Christians and Muslims can regard sex as a gift from God while disagreeing with others about the circumstances in which it should take place.

For those who reserve sex for marriage, marriage provides a public, lifelong commitment within which sexual love belongs. Others believe that a loving, faithful commitment can exist before a wedding, so marriage is not always necessary for a sexual relationship to be morally acceptable.

Traditional Christian teaching: sex belongs within marriage

Catholic and Anglican teaching holds that sex before marriage is wrong. People should remain chaste before marriage: in this context, that means abstaining from sexual activity. Sex is understood as an important expression of the loving, lifelong union of a married couple, rather than something separate from that commitment.

Genesis 2:24 describes a man being united to his wife, saying that ‘they become one flesh’. Traditional Christians interpret this as connecting sexual union with marriage. The commitment of marriage therefore matters because sex expresses a union intended to last for life.

St Paul’s teaching that ‘The body is a temple of the Holy Spirit’ (1 Corinthians 6:19) also influences Christian sexual ethics. If the body is a gift from God and a dwelling place of the Holy Spirit, it should be respected and used responsibly. This supports the belief that people should not use one another for sex or treat sex merely as temporary pleasure.

These beliefs can influence Christians to wait until marriage even when friends or wider society accept sex before marriage.

More liberal Christian views: commitment can come before a wedding

Some more liberal Christians accept sex before marriage when it expresses genuine love and the couple are fully committed to each other for life or intend to marry. They place greater emphasis on the quality of the relationship than on whether a wedding has already taken place.

For example, a couple intending to marry could be judged differently by these two Christian perspectives. Traditional teaching would still require them to wait until marriage. Some more liberal Christians would regard their loving commitment and intention to marry as reasons why a sexual relationship could be acceptable.

This does not mean that more liberal Christians necessarily approve of casual sex. Both perspectives can stress faithfulness, responsibility and respect for the other person. Their disagreement concerns whether marriage must come before sex.

Islamic teaching: a gift from God reserved for marriage

Islam teaches that sex is a gift from God which should be expressed through marriage. Sex before marriage is forbidden and is considered a serious sin. In Shari’ah, it falls within the prohibition of zina, unlawful sexual intercourse.

Marriage is understood as the proper setting for sexual fulfilment, with spouses expected to be faithful to one another. Reserving sex for marriage is therefore connected both to obedience to God and to protecting relationships and society.

The Muslim writer Abdul Wahid Hamid expresses this protective aim by arguing that society should be one ‘where only a man and his wife share the act of sex’. This is an argument about why the rule matters, not a claim that every Muslim always follows it.

Islamic teaching therefore agrees with traditional Christian teaching that love or an intention to marry does not make premarital sex permissible. It contrasts with the view of some more liberal Christians who accept sex within a committed relationship before marriage.

Contrasting attitudes in contemporary Britain

Sex before marriage is widely accepted in contemporary British society. Christian churches have less influence over wider social attitudes than they did in the past, and films, television, books and magazines often present premarital sex as commonplace. These attitudes contrast with religious teachings that reserve sex for marriage.

Legal permission and religious approval are different questions. The UK age of consent is 16, and consent means freely agreeing to sexual activity. Being legally old enough does not mean that a religion approves of sex before marriage, or that someone is obliged to have sex. Young people may experience pressure to do so, while religious beliefs may encourage them to wait.

Christian contrasts

• Catholic and Anglican teaching: sex belongs within marriage; remain chaste before marriage.
• Reason: sex expresses a loving, lifelong union requiring marital commitment.
• Some more liberal Christians: premarital sex may be acceptable within lifelong commitment or when the couple intend to marry.
• Shared emphasis: faithfulness, respect and responsible sexual behaviour, rather than using others for pleasure.

Teachings to connect

• Genesis 2:24: ‘they become one flesh’ — links marriage and sexual union.
• 1 Corinthians 6:19: ‘The body is a temple of the Holy Spirit’ — supports respecting the body and using it responsibly.

Islam

• Sex is a gift from God, reserved for marriage.
• Premarital sex is forbidden and classed as zina under Shari’ah.
• Reasons include obedience to God, faithfulness and protecting relationships and society.

Contemporary Britain

• Sex before marriage is widely accepted, contrasting with traditional religious teaching.
• UK age of consent: 16. Legal permission is not the same as religious approval.